but you wouldn't know a good thing

made a new livejournal.

 

___myillusion

add me  ♥

today was alright. practice sucked.
today was fun, then there was drama.
aghhhh. hate it. yeah thats all.
tomorrows easter. that totally came
out of no where.


__♥

show was actually fun. aine and myself tore up the floor. cause we are oh so awesome. talked to steph alot, i love her shes so awesome. and hung out with andi&aine a whole lot, awesome girls.

CutThroatSecrets: i love your face
CutThroatSecrets: its so cute

made me feel alot better :)

( fun )

 

exhausted. goodnight.

practice at 9 fucking am.

( survey, cause im THAT cool:: ps stolen from lauren. )

 

Happy Birthday Alyssa!

 

 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

school is getting to be to much for me. though im really
happy that my bio and global grades are good now. i just
have to work on math and english now. i can bring up my
english grade, thats just a matter of doing my homework.
but math, i just dont understand it, at all, its stupid,
along with my teach, mr. jones. i really dislike him!!!
but whatever, nothing i can do about it, its not like i
can change how he teaches, he just gets on my nerves so
much, ahhhh. yeah thats how that is. i cant wait till
spring break, no school to worry about, i mean ill still
have practice but i can deal with that. but im happy cause
i found people ill be hanging out with during it, cause
we are all cool, and non of us are going anywhere for spring
break. it will be fun. i hope. i no it will.
---
you ever feel like everyone is getting on with there
life, and your just standing there, you have no idea
what to do or say. your so confused, and just want to
cry untill everything makes sense again. only when your
done crying everything still doesnt make sense and its
still the same, and you still dont no what to do with
anything. sigh. just everything is building up, my mom
is getting into old habbits. i had to watch my grandfather
yell at her, like she was a child again, and she was rolling
her eyes, like i would or something. like she doesnt
realise she had fucking responsibilities, she has 4 children
she has to support, but apprently this just doesnt click
in her mind.she doesnt realise these things, it makes me so
upset. and i really think she could have emphasema, or the
beginings of lung cancer or something. shes been coughing
so much, and they both run in my family, and she is a
HEAVY smoker. but i dont no how to bring it up
with her. ive talked to my grama about it, and she agrees
with me, i mean her father died of both of those thing.
ahhh. gets me mad. i mean shes still young , shes only 37.
---
and then my father, a whole other thing in itself. sammy
started crying the other night, and i asked her whats wrong.
and she said that she doesnt like mommy and daddy being
divorced, cause we arnt a real family anymore. and that she
doesnt undertand why he never calls, or visits. i mean she
hasnt seen him in nearly 4 years. thats tough. i mean i choose
not to, but she wants to, and i want her to. i just want her&kate
to be happy, but i dont no how to make them feel better some
times. and i want to be able to, but i cant. and after she
told me that, i was crying.
---
im pathetic ___♥

Every passing day
makes the emptiness
inside her wider
longer, deeper
her soul feels hollow
and her mind riven into
a deep sadness
vaguely aware of what
goes on around her
her imagination, imprisoned
ina dark closet
she used to get joys
from the sun rays beaming down
and kissing her face gently
but this no longer pleasures her
she now falls back
and her heart fills with sadness
she is afraid
terrified of the unknown
---
pretty much how im feeling.
just was in a bad mood and
decided to write. ♥

im in the library. cool.
kbye.

school yesterday was wierd.
i just wasnt in the mood for
anything. coffee house was
eh, not so good. last year
was so much better. i was just
very dissapointed in it, sigh.
meg and sara were awesome dancing
on the stage though. wonder brownie
is love. acrisis was awesome as
usual. they were the only 2 bands
i enjoyed. i hung out with jennie
most of the night, i missed her.
i saw alot of people, but realised
that all those people i say hi to
and everything, im not really friends with.

its wierd. im wierd.
and sick, so im wierd and sick. yes.

i had a really good talk with meg
last night.

( i no im not perfect, but cant you pretend not to notice )
sorry for that guys.
peace out.

i suck at life.

well im doing this again cause the last time didnt work

 

( these are the days of our fucking lives )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA JEAN WINSTON!

 

 

 

if you read this journal,
even if i don't speak to you often,
post a memory of me.
it can be anything you want.
it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.

 

( Picture timeeeeeeee )

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song(s) remind me of you.
03. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
04. Last, i will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. Put this in your journal

I fucking hate everything.
Maybe im being to over
dramatic, but I dont care.

k bye.

Its 7:35, the meet has been canceld and I have no life.

( Stolen from Haley <3 )

well. I had wanted to
get my nose done,
during spring break.
but people are starting
to get it dont now. And
I dont want to get it
now. But I want to get
something. What should
I get? any ideas



your so beautiful.

oh I forgot to mention.
I have this crush.
oh boy is it a crush.
like, we are friends.
But he would never
think about me like that.

oh well.